i’m a weirdo.

I’m going to write right now about a quirk of mine. This quirk is that when I’m home alone, in the shower, I speak in full voice to no one. I wouldn’t say that I’m having a conversation with myself, per se, because it’s not a dialogue. It’s not even really a monologue or a soliloquy..just kind of a speech. Like explaining something to someone, only I’m not speaking to anyone, because no one is home, much less in the bathroom with me..and I’m not explaining to myself, because I’m the one who is doing the explaining, yknow?

Now, I don’t do this when I’m home alone and not in the shower–not when I’m just in the bathroom in general, not when I’m in any other room, not when I’m working out or reading in bed or watching TV or chatting online with someone on Facebook. I laugh out loud pretty often when I’m in various rooms of the house, alone, but this isn’t the same thing. And I don’t do this when I’m at home and Mark is around, not even when I’m in the shower and he’s in a different room.

Here is tonight’s example. Tomorrow, I’m taking a half day and the plan is to get sandwiches for lunch, then drive out to Sacramento for a baseball game. The sandwiches will be from Ike’s Place, which rules and which I have not been to in several months. I’m excited for the sandwiches, so I decided to check out their menu, specifically because I’m craving bacon and avocado, and I wanted to see which of their sandwiches have both bacon and avocado–there are three, fyi. Then I was looking at the other sandwiches, and I came across an item on some of the sandwiches called ‘halal chicken’. Naturally, I was like, ‘I wonder what that is?’ So I looked it up on Wikipedia, and it turns out that, to put it not very gracefully, ‘halal’ is sorta like ‘kosher’, except for Islam, rather than Judaism.

Then I got in the shower, and proceeded, I kid you not, immediately, to speak about my thoughts on the concept of ‘halal’, and these are the major talking points:

- Halal is sorta like Kosher, because there are some of the same restrictions, i.e. pork, blood [ew], ritual slaughter stuff.
- it’s also sorta different, because, for example, food prepared by non-Jews isn’t Kosher, but food prepared by Jews and Christians can be totally Halal, which is weird. Alcohol also isn’t Halal, but can be Kosher.
- part of the Halal thing makes sense to me, being that, uh, who would eat a carrion animal? who would drink blood?
- however, pork rules. soo that’s a no-go for me. same with alcohol.
- then there’s a part, in the whole ‘explicitly forbidden’ section, about animals whose method of death make them non-halal. one of these methods is being killed by a beast of prey [okay, because why would i want that anyway?], but another one is being killed by falling. Now, I can get behind this idea assuming the animal fell from the cliff and died, like, yesterday. But what if I just happened to be standing there, very very hungry, and I actually witness the fall? I mean, that’s about as fresh as it gets..I don’t know.
- and then I go on a tangent about how I always saw the ‘halal chicken’ on the Ike’s menu and assumed it was a prep method, like a seasoning or something. and then another tangent about how I wonder why it’s only the chicken that they make halal? Like, is it harder to find halal beef? can beef even be halal? is it more expensive to get halal beef? I mean, I know the bacon and ham and stuff can’t be halal, obviously, because of the pork thing. And then another tangent about how I wonder if it’s a rip on Kosher deli, like, you’re gonna be Kosher? Well, we’re the only deli with Halal options in town, so ha!

And then I went on an out-loud tangent about how I wonder if the concept of ‘rinsing your hair with cold water seals the cuticle and makes it shinier’ was invented by Vidal Sassoon or some guy at the request of a bunch of husbands who were pissed off that their wives were using up all the hot water to rinse their hair. And then I wondered what Vidal Sassoon’s hair looked like? Was it long hair or short hair? Did he use his own products?

And then, I stepped out of the shower and went on an out-loud step-by-step lecture about how to properly dry off after a shower.
1. Before even opening the curtain, squeeze the excess moisture out of the hair
2. Then, sluice [that rhymes with juice! I literally said that.] the excess water off the arms and legs and body
3. Grab the towel, shake the foot off whilst still in the tub, step directly onto the mat, then shake the other foot off and put it on the mat too. This way, there is as little water on the tile as possible, which means less slipperiness and chance for mildew.

THEN, I go on a tangent about the phrase ‘less is more’, and how that can’t possibly ever be true, because ‘less’ and ‘more’ are opposites of each other; they aren’t the same as each other at all. But then, if something is less than something, couldn’t it possibly be more than something else? Hmmmm.

What is wrong with me?

what the heck, ladies?!

I wish jerky guys would lay off my girl friends. It’s heartbreaking to see an otherwise self-empowered, confident, independent 30something woman fail time and time again to see that a guy who isn’t worthy of her is using her again and again for a booty call. The guy has her over to his house for a weekend, tells her everything he knows she wants to hear, then goes completely AWOL for 2-3 weeks. She allows herself to be sucked in every time, and why? because he’s seemingly the only 30something guy in Arizona who is relatively liberal in his beliefs about gay rights and immigration? because he’s the first guy who messaged her on the dating site she signed up for? because she’s seeking validation after being cheated on by her manipulative husband and going through a gutwrenching divorce?

I wish there was some way to [sensitively] put it to her the way I see it: the guy went through a breakup and lost his dad, found you online, wined and dined you for a week because he didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. He allowed you to call yourself his girlfriend because he knew that’s what you wanted, yet also knew you wanted him to tell you it’s what he wanted. You went out of town, he likely went out and screwed some other girl and felt guilty about it, and that’s why he ignored your attempts to contact him for the next week and kept cancelling on you. Don’t you wonder why he only contacts you when he’s drunk? Don’t you wonder why he keeps feeding you lines like ‘I didn’t call you because I’m scared of how much I like you’ and tells you he can easily see being married to you? It’s because he knows that’s what you want to hear at this point in your emotional experience. He’s not an idiot, he knows just what to say to keep you coming back. Guess what–you don’t have to rely on this guy to get laid. You can do so much better, and if you really want a commitment and, eventually, to get married again and to have kids before age 40, you have got to stop wasting your time on this loser and put yourself back out there. Stop settling!

But how do you actually say that to someone?

Decision 2012

So President Obama gets four more years. Thank goodness. Frankly, Mitt Romney should have acted all along like the gracious orator he seemed to be during his concession speech and he probably would have had a much better chance at the presidency. He was more likable during that speech than I have ever seen him. Unfortunately, he acted like such a smug asshole throughout the entire campaign process that I don’t think I trust that he’s genuinely a gracious person at all. The guy is such a chameleon that he can appear exactly as he wants to appear to whichever audience he’s addressing. That’s the main advantage I think Obama had over him–even when he’s being serious, he comes off as tough and sincere, but not a jerk. Although I feel some trepidation about the whole economic situation and I do think Romney might have made progress on fixing it, I felt more trepidation about the promises Romney made regarding changes in healthcare, Social Security, women’s rights and public programs. Not to mention his decision in choosing Paul Ryan as his running-mate..think about it, that psycho would have been, as the HBO series Veep put it, ‘one aneurysm away from the Presidency’. Obama may not have done everything right [who does?] in the last four years, but at least he respects women, non-whites, non-millionaires and the elderly.

28 August.

My grandma died yesterday. She had lung cancer. I found out about it last November when I was home in LA for Thanksgiving; the doctors said 1-2 years with treatment, because it was pretty advanced and inoperable. Prior to this, she was the most vital person over 70 that I’d ever met; she [and my grandpa, when he was still around] walked every day and I’d guess she never weighed over 140 pounds at 5 ft 7 or so. I rarely saw her without her hair and makeup done in public.
Then around April, I think, I got a call from my dad saying my mom was traveling to Kansas City with her aunt and a friend of my grandma’s, because they now were giving her a month to live. He told me the doctors were freaked out upon looking at the scans of her lungs because they couldn’t believe how many more tumors there were in such a short amount of time. So we traveled from CA to MO the following week for what we thought would be the last visit with her, and she was in really bad shape. We said our final goodbyes.
Fast forward from April to July, she’s doing way better and my mom, being the primary caregiver and therefore stuck in the house pretty much 24/7, was super lonely and offered to pay for me to come visit for a few days, which I did. Grannie was much more lucid than she was in April, and we were fortunate enough to have all five ‘grandgirls’ [myself and my four cousins] there with her at the same time. I went home and my dad was able to visit a few weeks later.
She never smoked at all in my memory; she may have back in the day when everyone smoked, in the 50s or whatever. She had lung cancer because the clay soil in the midwest releases radon, which, when it gets into houses via damage to the foundation, causes lung cancer. It’s the second most prevalent cause, behind smoking, obviously, of lung cancer in the US. She probably had the lung cancer 1-2 years before finding out about it, because she originally had pneumonia and believed she was left with a persistent cough. Because she believed it was leftover from the pneumonia, she never got it checked out, and therefore never suspected it was lung cancer; if she had been to the doctor to investigate the cause, they probably would have caught it and been able to operate. Granted, she was almost 80 [she would have turned 80 in less than a month] and very well might not have been able to go under the knife, or may have died of old age by now anyway, but still. Moral of the story: go to the doctor.
I’ve planned a road trip home for myself and my parents after the service for her, which will be good as far as bonding and also closure and decompressing for my mom after being a live-in nurse, basically, for her own mother for the last four months. I can’t even imagine how terrible that would be, and now I have to keep myself busy because if I don’t, I know all I will be able to think about is the fact that my parents are 55 or pushing 55 and that could be them in a decade or two or three. Life is so short.
In other news..
Chelsea’s wedding is on 4 October and I’ve purchased my and Mark’s plane tickets..so excited. I’ve been agonizing over shoes for this–I have my light blue strapless knee-length dress that I bought for $5 at the thrift store in downtown Santa Rosa around holiday time last year, and I only have one pair of wedding-worthy heels, which Mark deemed too high [they're 5+ inches and while I think they're hot, it weirds him out that I'm at eye level instead of chest level, even though he still has a good 6 inches on me, haha]. So I’ve been searching for a pair of suitable amazing shoes to go with my dress, probably wedges since I think the wedding is happening outdoors, and less than 5 inches in height. Thankfully, I waited this long to purchase shoes for the wedding, and as of yesterday, I also happened to be in need of funeral-appropriate shoes [since Mark isn't going, I could theoretically have worn the hot shoes, because they're grey, but then again, 5-inch heels may also not be funeral-appropriate], so I decided to make the purchase today.
I got these for the funeral:
http://www.dsw.com/shoe/fergalicious+dreamer+wedge+pump?prodId=253736&productRef=SEARCH
and these for the wedding:
http://www.dsw.com/shoe/mt+ivy+wedge+sandal?prodId=241936&productRef=SEARCH
I may wear the black wedges to the wedding, depending upon the weather/which accessories I end up feeling like wearing. Black = good with my black suede/leather jacket and black studded belt. Taupe = good if i end up not wearing a jacket. It’s hard to say, since I don’t know if the reception will be outside and weather in southern CA is unpredictable enough in October, even more unpredictable up in the mountains. We shall see.
That’s about all for now.

Finally!

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/05/09/152356770/president-obama-gay-marriage-should-be-legal

Today, President Obama announced his position has changed from one of undecided or anti-same-sex marriage to one of pro-same-sex marriage. When I heard this, it made me a little bit proud to be a citizen of this country, for the first time in a long time. Despite that so many states in the US still don’t recognize, and/or have legislation opposing, same-sex marriage, it’s a big step to have a President coming out in open support of marriage equality.

Since the first time I became vaguely aware of the fact that same-sex couples could not legally wed, it’s been an issue that just grinds my gears. There are so many arguments against same-sex marriage–allegedly the Bible states that marriage is between man and woman, why do gays have to get married if they could just as easily be together and leave it at that, what’s next–people marrying children and inanimate objects and animals?–but the only argument that matters is that there is no difference between a man marrying a woman and a man marrying a man and a woman marrying a woman. We’re all consenting adults here, so what’s the problem? I guarantee you present this point to any opponent of same-sex marriage and s/he will not be able to do anything but stammer and/or talk in circles. The fact is that it’s just a non-issue; the problem is that the people in power have made it an issue–until now.

There is a voice that nags in the back of my mind and tells me Obama could be making this declaration for political reasons. After all, the constituency that will not vote him into a second term in the fall has already made that decision; the assumption may be that the majority of same-sex marriage opponents will fall squarely into that group of Obama opponents. Maybe he believes that announcing a pro-same-sex marriage stance will solidify pro-Obama opinion among Liberal and pro-same-sex marriage voters. And many people are complaining that this declaration comes ‘too late’, i.e. the anti-same-sex marriage legislation passed yesterday in North Carolina, and saying that making such an announcement the day after this legislation is past does not have much of an effect.

All that said, this could be the start of a beautiful thing..here’s hoping.

Almost the end of the semester!

So excited! Three more weeks, then no more school :] of course, there will be unbearable heat and humidity, but hopefully there will also be more work hours, more tennis, more beach days and weddings to attend! I don’t love summer itself, but I do love what it means, in terms of down time and fun activities.

Also excited about this! Girls and Veep have both been renewed by HBO for respective second seasons :] Yay! I absolutely LOVE Girls–gets better and better with every episode–and Veep is definitely promising. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is hilarious, and I love Tony Hale aka Buster Bluth as the over-eager assistant Gary. And Lena Dunham  is also hilarious..I love Hannah, Marnie and Jessa. Shoshanna I can take or leave, but I do have hope that her character will get more interesting, since we’ve found out she’s a virgin. Basically, HBO rules.

update 9 May 2012:
Still loving Jessa and Hannah, and Marnie is obviously bothersome since the misunderstanding about Charlie having read Hannah’s journal about Marnie’s increasing distaste for Charlie. We shall see.

Sunscreen time!

I got paid yesterday! Paycheck + coupon for 20% off any purchase at Ulta + heading to the beach this Wednesday for a mini-spring break with my parents = a trip to Ulta for some necessities and not-so-necessaries.

I read an article in the May issue of Glamour about “Four Types of Sunscreen You Need,” and obviously it piqued my interest, being as fair-skinned as I am. I’ll read just about any article that suggests improvements in the sunscreen game–it’s about damn time they came up with something better than the usual greasy/”sheer spray”/”waterproof” they try to convince us to buy. Nothing worse than gross-feeling/-smelling sunscreen..not that it’s enough to stop me from using it, because no matter how much of a hassle using sunscreen is, not using it is not an option.

So when I read what Glamour’s medical professional du jour had to say about buying “a luxe [sunscreen] so you’ll want to use it,” it totally made sense to me. Her suggestion for an everyday lotion is L’Oreal Paris’s Sublime Sun Liquid Silk Sunshield for Face, and when I looked it up on the Ulta website to read some reviews, I was pleasantly surprised to find that L’Oreal makes an entire line of Sublime Sun products, and BONUS–the Liquid Silk Sunshield for Face and the regular ol’ Sublime Sun for the rest of your body both come in an SPF 50+ version. Music to my ears :]

So, off I go to Ulta. In addition to the two sunscreens, I picked up a set of four mini-nail laquers, a little Archipelago soy candle in Mango Tangerine [holy crap, best scent ever] and an LA Splash loose mineral eyeshadow in Copper Glow. It’s super glittery and looks great with my blue eyes and red hair. I was sort of intending to stop by the Benefit Brow Bar and see if they could do anything with my never-been-shaped brows, but I chickened out because there was a ton of people there. Less than $40 for all these things with my coupon..sweet.

So today I’m trying out the sunscreens..I opened the face one and was surprised to see a little spout rather than just the bottle’s opening..good thing they used that, though, because it’s very runny. It does say to shake well before opening, which I did. So it’s definitely liquid-y, but it goes on very silky. This might be why it’s called “liquid silk sunshield.” The other one is much more of a normal sunscreen texture, but also very silky, and they both absorbed super quickly, which is great–no greasy hands, and the scent is definitely a sunscreen-y scent but not overpoweringly so, and it fades quickly. I have yet to go outside today, but I’ll post an update when I see how well it works.

L’Oreal Paris Sublime Sun Advanced Sunscreen Liquid Silk Sunshield for Face, $10.99 at ulta.com

L’Oreal Paris Sublime Sun Advanced Sunscreen, $9.99 at ulta.com